I am frequently asked these questions: “How do I get my spouse to open up and talk to me?” How do I get my kid to open up?” Psychologist Ken Moses (PhD) developed an acronym to help us remember an important way of being with people that promotes healing and growth. He calls it ENUF.

You may be aware of the current “tidying up” craze hitting America that is Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. Maybe you love it, maybe you hate it, maybe you haven’t heard of it. In watching this show, I became exceedingly aware of how this method is, oh so very much, like therapy.

In couples work, I often find that anger is one of those emotions that drives the biggest wedge between a couple. But anger is so misunderstood!

There have been many times in my life where I have struggled with understanding how to proceed after a difficult situation. It was like the old adage, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” was just not working for me. Because of this, I have often found myself wondering how so many people could think or act positively after something that would be horrifying to anyone, while I could not.

My groups and I have had some interesting conversations recently about self-care, specifically when it comes to the holidays. Now there are numerous articles written about staying healthy during the holidays, but I’d like to offer my input about how we can best care for ourselves, and ultimately others (notice the order), especially if you’re someone in active recovery.

Recently, (okay for the past few years), there’s been an uptake in awareness of the importance of self-care. You can read a vast number of articles on how self-care isn’t selfish and how many people can get those two phrases mixed up. My clients and I discuss this frequently, and it’s always encouraging to see how people take care of their physical/emotional selves in their own unique ways.

Most people who walk into my office are looking for someone to talk to about the emotional distress they’re experiencing such as feelings of depression and anxiety, or problems they’re experiencing in their relationships. What they’re really seeking are solutions to these problems that will reduce their emotional pain. Sometimes people get so caught up in their thoughts, feelings, and problems that life seems so complicated and they forget about the ordinary things in life. At times like these it helps to get back to basics.

Teenagers can often withdraw and keep things to themselves. This can be unsettling for parents. We worry about what is going on with them if they aren’t sharing with us. Here are some tips that I found worked when our kids were teens:

If you've ever flown, you’ve likely experienced it. It can happen on any flight. Turbulence is the shaking of the plane due to air pressure or weather conditions outside. The aircraft might shake a bit, or rock about in jolts, strong enough to knock a person over. But what happens when you experience emotional turbulence?

[ pərˈspektiv (n.): a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. ]

I’ve begun to notice some conversational patterns that emerge in therapy. One such pattern is the conversation that arises over the idea of a person’s perspective.