Four Foundations for Building Your Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the foundation of how you view and nurture the relationship you have with yourself. Simply defined, self-esteem is the evaluation of yourself through a lens, none other than your own. Do you value yourself? Approve of yourself? Do you like yourself? All are really compelling questions that leave anyone with low self-esteem running for the hills.
Having low self-esteem (or negative evaluation of yourself) is nothing less than entering into a dimly lit room, with very little positivity found anywhere. Your brain is flooded with thoughts like “I am worthless,” “I do not deserve good things,” or “I am not smart enough.” All of which create a downward spiral of sadness, anxiety, and hopelessness.
Signs of low self-esteem might include:
Being sensitive to criticism from others
Being self-critical
Emphasizing your failures, minimizing your victories
Socially withdrawing
Pessimism
One can develop low self-esteem at any point in their life and there can be a variety of causes: Feeling like you did not meet expectations in your career/school performance or within your relationship, childhood trauma, and unsupportive or highly critical peer groups or family members (feeling like you are excluded or do not fit in with others).
Self-esteem, however, is something that can be improved. With a little touch of reframing and a lot of self-love and maybe the support of a friendly therapist, one can change and replace those thought patterns that do not let the truest YOU shine through.
While you are anxiously awaiting for your first appointment with your new therapist, here are four tips you can start implementing today to increase your self-esteem:
1. Live Purposefully
If you are feeling low self-worth, the best antidote is finding a sense of purpose. Your purpose does not have to directly connect to your work, career or school achievements either! When you live a life of purpose, you have goals you want to achieve and you make plans and choices to make it happen. Live your life with your goal in mind and get out of your own way!
2. Live Intentionally
Focus on the present moment. When you focus on what you are in control of right now, it can help to alleviate the desire to ruminate on the past or on the future and make room for new experiences to emerge and new behaviors to take shape. The beauty of living in the present moment is the opportunity for you to make choices and changes that support the life you want to live.
3. Practice Self-Acceptance
Whether you make a mistake or whether you get an A+ on that latest history paper, accepting and loving yourself unconditionally and showing yourself compassion is crucial. When you are compassionate to yourself, you embrace the human being that is being. Honor your humanness no matter the outcome of any situation.
4. Assert Yourself
You deserve to show up and take up space in every room you enter. It is crucial you practice asserting your needs, feelings, and boundaries with yourself and with others to support your growth.
As with much in life, nurturing your self-esteem is a daily intentional practice. In our humanness, there may be days where you feel your esteem to be high, and days where you will feel it to be low, and that is okay! The goal is to continue to work, see, and honor yourself for who you are and the light you offer to this world.
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.