What is Decision Paralysis and How to Overcome It
Your partner shoots you a text at the end of your work day.
“Can you grab some ice cream on your way home. Anything is fine.”
You think “Sure. I can do that.” You get to the store, stand in front of those frosty doors in the frozen food section, and stare.
There are 35 flavors to choose from. What do you do?
For some people, they grab a flavor they believe will best meet their partner's needs, and move on, without worrying too much more about it. This is a different story for people who experience decision paralysis.
Decision paralysis is the struggle to make a choice when faced with multiple options, leading to stress and anxiety. It can occur for very important decisions that need to be made (buying a house, for example), or for quite mundane decisions (buying ice cream). This can result in choosing nothing at all to avoid making the wrong decision. With someone who experiences decision paralysis, this scenario can create a feeling of dread when they get the text from their partner, and have them spending an exorbitant amount of time staring down 35 different flavors of ice cream, only to end up at home with either nothing or all 35 flavors. (1)
Various sources discuss why someone might struggle to make a choice about something.
It could be that multiple good options are available, with no clear ‘correct,’ or ‘optimal’ choice to make.
One may have a need to avoid negative outcomes, and fear the experience of making a mistake.
A person may struggle with confidence in themselves and the choices they make and may be fearful of regretting what they choose, especially if the choice being made can easily be changed (like picking an ice cream flavor).
Having more choice may seem like more freedom, but can also be overwhelming, which can trigger a person to shut down.
Perfectionism may play a role if one feels pressure to obtain their subjective “best” option. (1) (2)
Writer of the book, The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz, stated “People don’t make decisions based on what’s the most important, but based on what’s the easiest to evaluate. The greater amount of choices we have, the easier it is to regret and find imperfections in our past decision.” (1)(2)
Identifying Indecisiveness
There are some common behaviors that aren’t always easy to identify as decision paralysis that you may see in yourself or in others. Procrastination, for example, may be a cue that one struggles to make a decision. Perfectionistic thinking may make it difficult for someone to make a decision, as can fear of regret. Avoidance is one form procrastination can take, looking like being overly consumed by many other things or tasks so that making a decision doesn’t happen. This avoidance can lead to delegation of decision making. Some delegation is healthy, particularly in a teamwork environment, but delegation due to a lack of confidence, or lack of clarity of one's priorities, could be another clue that one experiences decision paralysis. The opposite of this is overthinking, where one obsesses over an issue, and “what if’s” all possible outcomes. Being studious over important tasks is valuable, but if it goes on for very long stretches of time without coming to a decision, this may be another clue that someone could be experiencing decision paralysis. (1)(2)
Delaying decision-making can lead to delays at work and impact productivity, especially when others are dependent on your decisions. Ultimately, overthinking decisions can hinder productivity, creativity, and overall happiness. Overthinking choices can be mentally draining and cause increased anxiety, so finding an adequate solution instead of striving for perfection is recommended. (1)
Plan to Choose
When you are struggling to make a decision, there are 7 practical tips you can follow to overcome decision paralysis.
1. First, simplify. Not all decisions deserve the same weight, so make, and sort out, a master “to-do” list in order of urgency. This will dispel the myth that everything on the list is equally important because they’re not.
2. Second, don't consider too many options and set limits on things you will consider. Time blocking is a helpful strategy for focusing on one thing at a time. Here is a helpful article.
3. Third, use deadlines to force yourself to make a decision faster. We humans are famous for overestimating our time or underestimating how long something will take. Practice this with small choices where the stakes are not as high, like what coffee to order or what to wear to work.
4. Fourth, accept that mistakes will happen and learn to manage your expectations. Plans change, and taking into account that changes or mistakes will take up some of your time doesn’t need to rob you of your focus. Uncertainty is a part of life, and we can be at peace with that. Radical acceptance may help.
5. Fifth, get a second opinion from a trusted colleague, friend, or family member. Asking for input is valuable when making important decisions, just keep in mind it’s you who are going to decide in the end.
6. Sixth, take a break from deciding for a few minutes, and get out of your head. Take a walk or do some other light wiggling, do some meditation or say a prayer, do some grounding exercises, or try to focus on breathing. Bring yourself back to a place of calm, soothing compassion. Do these things daily if you know you struggle with decision paralysis.
7. Seventh, affirm the positive possibilities. Remind yourself that coming to a decision may not be impossible and that you have made hard choices before. (1) (2) (3)
Moving Forward
These are just a few tools to help tackle the distress that some people feel when making decisions. All new things take time to develop, and if you are experiencing decision paralysis, seeking support from a healthcare provider could prove beneficial to you. Allow yourself to find a way to be free of the fear of making a wrong choice, and build your confidence.
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.