Understanding Situational Apathy
Can you tell someone who has never tasted salt what salt tastes like? You can try to describe it, but chances are they won’t know it till they taste it. That is how some people conceptualize situational apathy. It is difficult to describe the experience. We are going to try here, and hopefully give some ideas of how to navigate this experience.
What is Apathy?
Some people describe it as:
sense that something is missing
lack of drive
sense of an “emotionless” emotion
attitude of indifference
unresponsiveness
detachment
dispassion
“I don’t care. And I don’t care that I don’t care.”
Apathy is a term used when you are no longer motivated, you lack the energy to do your daily tasks, your activities are dependent on others, you lack a desire to learn new things/meet new people, or you feel no emotions when good or bad things happen, and all of these things are affecting your life at work, socially, or interpersonally. It also cannot be due to substances. (1) (3)
Is there a Cause?
Apathy can be seen in a variety of circumstances and some experts note its presence as a complication of several neurological conditions, such as early symptoms of Alzheimer's or other demyelinating diseases, traumatic brain injury, stroke, or depression, to name a few. But it can also be the result of very difficult life circumstances including a painful divorce/loss of a loved one, loss of work or finances, change in schools, unstimulating routines, feeling overworked, or experiencing burnout. This is what is meant by “situational apathy” (1) (2) (5)
Finding out what triggers a person to feel emotional numbness may be difficult. Finding the answer to questions about what possibly caused the apathy can give a person a direction to go when looking for a way to change their reactions:
Can I identify a clear point in my life when I noticed my drive and motivation were gone? What was happening before that?
Can I identify having had negative self-talk, fear of failure or rejections, or actual failure or rejection prior to developing apathy?
Is my apathetic attitude present in one specific area of my life (home, work, school, with friends) or do I see it in all areas of my life?
Can I think of anything in my life that I still find engaging?
Have I noticed that I am bored, worn down, or resigned to a life of torpid sameness?
Can I identify things I have control over in my apathy-inducing circumstances, and can change?
What Can I Do With Situational Apathy?
Apathy connected to symptoms of a chronic disease or injury can be difficult to treat, but situational apathy can be managed in accessible ways, particularly once a trigger, or starting point, has been identified. Even if one is not sure about where the change in attitude has come from, these tips can be a good place to start when trying to manage situational apathy.
1. Push yourself, even if you don’t feel like it
Try something new that may challenge or fulfill you in ways your current routine isn’t doing. Start a new hobby or talk with someone new. You may have to push past some initial, internal resistance, but pay attention to how it makes you feel once you have done it. “Feeling like it” is not requisite to doing something new. Try making a list of what is not working, and find the most doable first move you can make. Perhaps you can’t change some parts of your circumstance. Is it possible to accept what you cannot change and move forward? Can you embrace (1)(2)(3)
2. Invest time in stuff you historically loved
What do you remember about things you used to love to do? It doesn’t have to be big, just something that used to bring you pleasure. Hobbies, for example, are a good investment of time and can be productive and purposeful, things like art, music, or exercise. But seemingly unproductive and purposeless activities can help reawaken you to the joys of life. What can you think of along with these ideas?
Laying in bed an extra hour on your day off.
Looking out the window at the leaves being moved by the wind or the birds gliding from one tree to another.
Idly watching the clouds in the sky or the surface of a lake.
Watching fish swim in a fish tank or playing with your beloved pet.
Tossing a ball in the air as high as you can and trying to catch it. (3)(4)
3. Develop something to look forward to
Decide if you are willing to challenge the apathetic attitude. Start small. Think about an event/activity (or multiple) that you can put on your calendar that is different from the routine you do daily. Decide to plan something in the future that aligns with your values (not sure what your values are, click here, you will find a tidy list of core values that you can explore. Taking steps to commit to investing in “excitement” is not a one-and-done experiment. “I put it on my calendar, I got excited about it, I did it, and I don’t feel any better/ it wasn’t what I expected.” Starting an experiment with challenging apathy works best if you start simply. The goal is to rise above the current morass. Contentment and peace with life takes practice. Keep trying.
4. Try giving yourself a break, and experiment with self-compassion
Whether you are experiencing apathy or someone close to you is, it can be particularly frustrating to live with. No one likes existing in perpetual stuck-ness. How much practice do you have at being gentle with yourself? Have you ever tried to invalidate negative self-talk? Have you considered treating yourself the same way you would treat your closest friend? Can you tell yourself the truth about something (believe it or not, that is compassion)? Essentially, self-compassion is a growth mindset (I made a mistake vs I am a mistake). It can be learned and improved upon. You can learn how to ask yourself about what you need in the context of what you are experiencing, and you can be kind to yourself while you have difficult emotional experiences.
Made changes and still have numbness, disconnection, and low motivation? Consider reaching out. (2)(3)(4)(5)
5. Reaching out to someone with mental health training
More persistent apathy may be a sign of a deeper mental health matter. This is true especially when apathy comes on suddenly, seems to be cyclical, or searching for triggers leaves you empty-handed. Whether it is situational or more persistent, apathy is important enough to seek out help. What you cannot do on your own could be effectively facilitated by a second set of professionally trained eyes working with you. When apathy is left unmanaged it can lead to hopelessness, which can escalate to suicidal thoughts: “Life is pointless” (passive suicidal thoughts); “I want to end my life/ I have a plan to end my life” (active suicidal thoughts).
Conclusion
Understanding and addressing situational apathy can be a powerful first step toward reclaiming your motivation and emotional engagement. Whether it’s identifying triggers or working through manageable changes, the key is to remember that feeling stuck doesn’t have to be permanent. With small, intentional actions and, when necessary, professional guidance, you can navigate this challenging experience and find renewed purpose. If at any point you or someone you know who is struggling with apathy starts to have suicidal thoughts or engage in suicidal behaviors, seek help promptly. Reach out to a mental health professional or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 988. (2)(3)(5)
Here are a few other articles that may be helpful in pulling yourself out of situational apathy:
https://roubicekandthacker.com/blog/focus-the-breakdown-of-getting-things-done
https://roubicekandthacker.com/blog/national-depression-screening-day-october-6-2022
1- https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-apathy
2- https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-deal-with-apathy-and-feeling-numb/
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.