What If Boredom Is Trying to Tell You Something?
"I'm bored."
It's one of those phrases we tend to take at face value. There's nothing to do, the day feels repetitive, or maybe you've already scrolled through everything, watched a show, checked your phone again, and are somehow still bored. You can't think of anything else to do. Sigh
Common responses to "I'm bored" from those around us tend to be suggestions of possible entertaining things to do, or a list of chores that could curb the boredom, or at least keep us from complaining. But what if boredom isn't always about needing something entertaining to do? Sometimes, boredom is telling us something else.
G.K. Chesterton once wrote, "There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person." A more contemporary iteration of this sentiment is, "There are no boring things, only boring people." That may sound a little harsh when you're staring at the clock, but it raises an interesting question: What exactly is happening when we feel bored?
Boredom is more complicated than simply having nothing to do. It is the uncomfortable experience of wanting to engage in something satisfying but being unable to get your attention to settle on anything, whether that involves an activity, your surroundings, your thoughts, or your feelings. Research describes boredom as involving disengagement, difficulty focusing attention, dissatisfaction, and restlessness. In other words, "I'm bored" may describe the surface experience while something else is happening underneath.
Could Your Boredom Actually Be Loneliness?
Boredom and loneliness can feel surprisingly similar. Both can leave us restless, dissatisfied, or feeling like something is missing.
Though they point toward different needs (Boredom may be a desire for stimulation and loneliness a desire for connection), the two can easily overlap. Both can stem from a lack of engagement. When you lack social or emotional connections, you feel an absence of stimulation that mimics regular boredom. On the surface, being alone can look like "having nothing to do" (boredom), masking the deeper, heavier ache of not having anyone to share your thoughts, interests, or life with.
That's why asking, "Am I bored, or am I lonely?" can sometimes be more useful than simply asking, "What should I do?"
Could Your Boredom Actually Be A Signal That You Are Dependent?
Sometimes boredom is a sign that we have become too dependent on something external. This is an especially important possibility to notice.
Boredom can create a strong desire for something that will immediately make us feel different. Technology can provide that quickly: another video, another post, another game, another distraction.
Research involving young people found that higher levels of boredom and loneliness were associated with problematic Internet use. The study also found that boredom related particularly to difficulty focusing attention and disengagement from activities. The researchers were careful to point out that their study could not establish cause and effect, but their findings suggest a relationship worth paying attention to.
That gives boredom a different meaning than just seeking entertainment. Instead of automatically asking, "What can entertain me?" we might sometimes ask, "Have I become dependent on something outside of myself to keep me engaged?" If every quiet moment immediately needs to be filled, boredom never has a chance to tell us anything. We simply cover it up. And sometimes, sitting with boredom can be useful.
Could Your Boredom Actually Be Healthy?
Boredom isn't automatically a problem to solve. Unstructured time can create space for creativity, imagination, curiosity, and self-direction. When we aren't constantly entertained or distracted, we may have to ask ourselves: What do I actually want to do? What interests me? What do I care about?
The opposite of boredom isn't necessarily being busy. It may be being interested. A person can be extremely busy and still feel bored. You can fill an entire day with activities and never actually feel engaged in any of them.
Boredom can sometimes nudge us toward something that genuinely interests or inspires us-a creative project, a new activity, a change of environment, or simply something that captures our curiosity. It acts as a signal that we need movement, stimulation, connection, or a little space to think.
So What Do We Do When We're Bored?
Maybe we don't need to immediately get rid of the feeling. Maybe we can get curious. What kind of bored am I? Am I restless because I need something engaging? Am I disconnected from other people? Am I overwhelmed and need some quiet? Am I struggling to focus? Am I too used to immediate novelty and distraction from a device that ordinary activities are not satisfying?
Boredom doesn't always mean something is wrong. Sometimes it is an invitation to explore. Sometimes it points toward connection. Sometimes it reveals that we have been relying too heavily on an external source of stimulation. And sometimes it is simply a quiet space where creativity or curiosity can begin.
It's doubtful that you will never feel bored again, so what would a practice of listening to your boredom do for you? If it doesn't mean "entertain me", what could it mean?
And sometimes, "I need to learn that I don't have to fill every empty moment."
References
Chesterton, G. K. (1905). Heretics. John Lane Company. pg 38. https://www.google.com/books/edition/Heretics/fXoLAAAAYAAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover
Eastwood, J. D., Frischen, A., Fenske, M. J., & Smilek, D. (2012). The Unengaged Mind: Defining Boredom in Terms of Attention: Defining Boredom in Terms of Attention. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 7(5), 482-495. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691612456044
Orsolini L, Longo G, Volpe U. The Mediatory Role of the Boredom and Loneliness Dimensions in the Development of Problematic Internet Use. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023 Mar 2;20(5):4446. doi: 10.3390/ijerph20054446. PMID: 36901452; PMCID: PMC10001960.
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