Election Season: What You Can Control, and What You Can't
Election season has a way of following us everywhere. It shows up in conversations with family, social media posts, the news playing in the background, and sometimes even in the way we look at people we have known and loved for years.
It's surprisingly easy to forget someone's humanity when we strongly disagree with their political views. Have you noticed yourself getting bothered by a political yard sign? That's not unusual. A comment at a dinner or a social media post can suddenly make someone seem like a representative of everything we fear or dislike.
Political beliefs matter. Decisions have consequences, and we don't have to pretend otherwise. But disagreeing with someone doesn't mean we have to reduce them to a political party, a vote, or a single opinion. People are complicated. We all have histories, relationships, fears, experiences, and reasons for seeing the world the way we do.
C.S. Lewis wrote in The Weight of Glory, "There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal." It's a good reminder that the person sitting across from us is more than the opinion currently frustrating us.
We can challenge an idea, establish a boundary, or walk away from an unproductive conversation without making a personal attack. We don't have to win every argument to remain true to our values.
1. Focus on What Is Actually Yours to Control
Here's something we all know but sometimes have a hard time practicing: We cannot control how someone else votes, what they post, whether they change their mind, or how they respond when we disagree.
We can vote, speak up, participate in our communities, and support causes that matter to us. Those things make a difference. But influence isn't the same as control.
When we feel worried or threatened, we naturally want to do something to make the uncertainty go away. We check the news again, argue with a relative, replay a conversation, or spend an hour composing the perfect response to a social media post.
Sometimes those actions are useful. Other times, we're spending enormous amounts of energy trying to manage things that aren't ours to manage.
A better question might be: What is mine to do here?
Maybe it's voting, having a respectful conversation, helping someone affected by a policy, or correcting misinformation. Maybe it's putting the phone down and being present with the people in the room.
We have choices about how we conduct ourselves, even when we don't have choices about everything happening around us. That isn't giving up or being passive. It's recognizing where our energy can actually make a difference.
2. You Can Care Without Carrying It All Day
Staying informed is important. Staying emotionally activated from morning until bedtime isn't a requirement of being an informed citizen.
If you find yourself checking headlines every few minutes, feeling irritated by every post, or replaying political conversations long after they've ended, it might be time for a little boundary.
Try choosing one or two specific times each day to catch up on the news. Give yourself 15-20 minutes, turn off unnecessary notifications, and be selective about what you consume. When that time is over, return to your actual life.
Make dinner. Take a walk. Call a friend. Enjoy something that has absolutely nothing to do with politics.
You don't have to follow every development in real time to be a responsible person. And remember, taking a break doesn't mean you don't care. It means you recognize that your attention and emotional energy are limited resources.
We can care deeply about what happens in our country without allowing every headline to determine how we feel for the rest of the day.
3. We're More Capable Than We Sometimes Realize
When life feels uncertain, it's easy to believe that the current difficulty is somehow bigger, harder, or more overwhelming than anything we've faced before. We can get so caught up in what might happen that we forget how much people have already lived through, adapted to, and overcome.
Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, wrote in Man's Search for Meaning: "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
Difficult circumstances are not easy and even when circumstances are outside our control, we still have choices in how we respond.
Human beings have navigated wars, economic hardship, political divisions, uncertainty, and enormous social changes throughout history. Every generation has had its reasons to worry about the future. That doesn't make our current concerns unimportant. It simply reminds us that uncertainty and difficult seasons are not unique to us.
And perhaps we're more equipped to handle them than we give ourselves credit for.
We have relationships, experience, judgment, creativity, and the ability to adapt. We have made it through things we once weren't sure we could handle. We don't need to have every answer today or know exactly how everything will turn out. Sometimes the next right step is enough.
4. Don't Lose Sight of the Life Happening Around You
Election seasons come and go. Political decisions can have lasting consequences, and change doesn't always happen as quickly as we'd like. We shouldn't minimize those realities.
But life is bigger than the current political moment.
Children still need our attention. Friends still need someone to call. Partners still need kindness. Neighbors still have problems to solve. We still have birthdays to celebrate, meals to share, projects to finish, and ordinary moments worth enjoying.
We can hold strong convictions without becoming cruel. We can disagree without treating people as enemies. We can work toward change without living in a constant state of alarm.
We are responsible for how we treat people, how we use our voices, what we choose to support, and how we care for ourselves and those around us. We are not responsible for controlling every outcome or convincing every person to see things our way.
The stakes may feel enormous, and some things genuinely are beyond our control. But we have been through uncertain times before, and we will face difficult seasons again. We are not expected to solve everything, and we don't have to carry everything.
Do what is yours to do. Speak up when it matters. Give yourself permission to step away when it doesn't. And remember that the people around you are still people, even when you disagree.
The election matters. So does the life you're living while it happens. Don't let the first make you forget to take care of the second.
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.
