Three Ways to Make After School Connections With Your Kids
The kids are back in school! Did you breathe a sigh of relief? Perhaps the house can stay clean for half a day, maybe you have time for a shower that lasts more than 5 minutes, and you might even get a break from being told how bored everyone is. The start of school does bring some relief, but it also comes with its own set of challenges. Time with your kids is being impacted by outside influences: never ending homework, friend drama, school sports and activities, and other school demands. So while you may have breathed an initial sigh of relief, there is also that quick intake of breath wondering how you can make the most of the little time you now have with your kids.
Here are 3 simple ways to increase the quality of the time that you spend with your children.
Ask about their day. How many times have you said to your child, “How was school?”, and their response was one word - “fine”, “boring”, “good”? Try asking the question in a way that invites sharing and connection. “What was the very best thing that happened at school today?” “What was the worst thing or the funniest thing or the most embarrassing thing that happened today?” This type of open-ended question allows room for your child to open up to you. It invites them to explore how they felt about their day, not just what happened. You may even find opportunities to share about good, bad, silly, embarrassing, and even difficult things that happened in your day.
Have a cell phone/headphone-free time each day. Hopefully, you have made time to eat breakfast and/or dinner with your kids and teens. Make this time cell phone-free for kids and adults. Putting down your own phone sends a very powerful message to your family that they are more important than anyone or anything on your phone. They need to know that they matter to you. Expecting them to be off of their phones and turning off their music lets them know that you value their time and attention.
Compliment them everyday. Find something each day to tell them what you like about them. Tell them what you appreciate in them. Tell them you love them. When kids are in school they spend a large part of their day in an environment that may be overwhelming, stressful, and at times even cruel. They need to know that they are loved and valued. This creates a buffer of strength around them that helps them deal with outside stresses. Your kids will keep with them how you make them feel.
The time you have to spend with your kids each day is much less when they are in school. However, implementing these three things into your day will increase the quality of the time you spend with them. They will feel more valued in the home. The connection between you will grow as you share more with one another. You will have the amazing opportunity to get to know your precious child even better.
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.