The Universe is At the Dinner Table
The universe is everything. It includes all of space, time, matter, and energy. Naturally, of course, that means it includes you.
So what do I mean by “the universe is at the dinner table?” I should begin by sharing that I did not think of this idea on my own. An elderly man of 90, a retired therapist, discussed with me a powerful concept that he learned about while counseling people. He shared that he could see the difference in families that had dinner together with their children. He noted there was an obvious higher quality of life.
I thought about his words and decided to do some reading.
Research teaches us that younger children who are exposed to dinner table conversation have boosts in their vocabulary that rival being read to out loud. It is also a consistent predictor of educational achievements for older children (1). Holding regular family dinner together has been connected to lower rates of depression, suicidal thoughts, higher resiliency to bullying, and lowers the risk of teen behaviors that adults worry most about: drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, or inappropriate sexual activity (2). Family members will make their own choices, of course, but it’s compelling to see what an effect having dinner together can make on a person's quality of life.
The research is plentiful and compelling, however, I hardly think we rush to the dinner table due to compelling dinner-table science.
The dinner table isn’t just a place to eat food (don’t get me wrong, I love food), but it's where we pass down traditions such as grace, menus, values, manners, self-control, cooperation, or how to remain cool and collected when a cup gets tipped over.
There is so much more. In her book “Braiding SweetGrass”, Robin Wall Kimmerer, a Native American and Ecologist, spoke of sacred ceremonies offered by her father prior to eating, to acknowledge the earth's role in providing all that they had, and she learned gratitude (3).
Love languages are communicated at the dinner table by one who loves through service, and one who loves through gifts (4). We connect with each other while also reconnecting with ourselves, not unlike a grounding exercise that practices being present, to reduce catastrophizing or anxiousness.
I recently took note of all the topics my kids asked and talked about at dinner. In one hour at the table, my kids asked about where bad words come from, discussed religious convictions, asked about other belief systems, social injustices, the tallest mountains in the world, atoms making up everything in existence, funny things they could remember doing with each other, planning for future funny things, quoting from their favorite shows, and occasionally breaking into song. All of that, and not one google search.
When we think of space, we think of outer space, with its myriad of universes, that are without number. As I think of the old man's words, I start to see that universes exist in more places than outer space. Perhaps our families are our universe. At the dinner table, we reach back in time and space to use our energy to perpetuate practices and traditions that carry our values, in hopes to give what is good to those who mean everything to us. Perhaps the universe really is at the dinner table. Naturally, of course, it wouldn't be the same without you.
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