Is Self-care Self-ish???
The truth is that self-care isn’t selfish, it's necessary. When time isn’t set aside for enjoyment, relaxation, peace and quiet, and self-reflection, we start to feel it. We can feel it physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and relationally. If you are feeling overwhelmed, burned out, irritable, forgetful, tired, or like you’re one problem away from losing your mind, you're most likely lacking self-care.
Everyone needs self-care!
When talking to my clients about self-care, they often respond with wide eyes and tell me that they don’t have time or feel as if it would be selfish to do something for themselves when there are so many other things to do. We can’t pour from an empty cup, and if we don’t take the time we need for ourselves, then we are trying to do just that. We have our lives full of good things (we probably chose most if not all of them), so this adds to the difficulty of knowing what to adjust and how.
Most people look at self-care like it's something they don’t have time for. It’s not as much about how much time you spend doing the activity of your choice; it's how mindful, present in the moment, and satisfied you are with the activity of choice. It's also important to let go of the negative thoughts and emotions that you’ve been feeling while you are doing the activity.
Self-care for you will probably look different than it will for someone else, and that’s OK!
To start any new habit, it’s important to start small and be consistent. It's also helpful to pair it with something you're already doing. Use the acronym SMART to set your new goal
S-specific (What action will you take?)
M-Measurable (How much? How often?)
A-Achievable (Can you start now? Do you have the resources to do it?)
R-Relevant (Why is this important to you? How does it align with bigger goals/values?)
T-Time Bound (what is the length of time you will do the activity and when in the day?)
An example of how to make a goal a smart goal:
Goal: Have more relaxation time
SMART goal: On Saturday mornings at 10 am, I will go to my favorite coffee shop and journal/read for 30 minutes.
When we take time for ourselves, we show that we value ourselves. We show others how to have healthy boundaries, and we fill up our cup so that we can pour into others. Taking this time will have huge benefits in every area of your life because now that you will be acknowledging your needs and taking care of those needs, you will have more energy for other areas of your life.
Hopefully, now, you are feeling motivated to start improving your self-care routine. Take the time to consider: What is one SMART goal you can start today?
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.