How can I tell? Clarifying differences between Sadness, Depression, and Grief
Do you currently experience a lack of enjoyment in your life, low energy, going through the motions, or sorrow? These are feelings that describe sadness. They also are words used to describe depression and grief. You may have noticed that these three terms (sadness, depression, and grief) tend to be used interchangeably. As they have some close similarities, it’s understandable that they would. So how can you tell what the differences are? (1)
Sadness
Being sad can range in intensity: Disappointment, discouragement, distraught, resignation, helplessness, hopelessness, misery. Sadness, at any intensity, is a healthy and normal response to difficult experiences, especially when you don’t have (or perceive you don’t have) the trusted support of another human. When these emotions are experienced due to life changes, sadness is a perfectly normal response. Consider the important role sadness plays. Sadness is like a little flag waving in the air, indicating that help or comfort is needed, that something really mattered to you, or things are not going the way you thought they would. (2)(3)
Sadness is a temporary period in which a person cycles from protest to resignation, and then to helplessness, and can last longer than other emotions (it does reduce and eventually go away). Our reactions to stressful changes may be more intense than we thought they would be. When this happens, it is clinically discussed as an adjustment disorder (strong and sometimes excessive reactions to stress that include negative thinking, intense emotions, and conduct changes). (2)(3)
While sadness may seem very similar to what you experience during depression, what makes one different from the other?
Depression
Depression is different from sadness as it does not always have a clear or direct cause. Long-term difficulties, taking certain medications or drugs, genetic vulnerability, and some medical conditions have been linked to depression. It affects how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. Like sadness, it can last a long time, but when sadness lasts for more than two weeks and interferes with normal, everyday functioning, you may be experiencing depression. It is also accompanied by :
inappropriate guilt “it’s my fault”
concentration issues
low energy “I am so unmotivated”
negative thinking “what’s the point”, “I will never feel good again”
lower ability or inability to experience pleasure
irritability
harm to self “life’s not worth living”
sleep disturbance
self-criticism/pessimistic rumination “there is nothing good in my life”, “I am a failure”
changes in eating habits
Research has connected depression with biological and chemical influences. Serotonin levels of the brain have been connected to happiness. Thus, lower levels of this neurotransmitter are correlated to a higher risk of self-harm and seasonal affective disorder (sunlight keeps serotonin levels high). Low levels of dopamine are believed to contribute to depression as it affects those neurons responsible for habit formation and motivation. Additionally, often research has observed levels of an enzyme called “monoamine oxidase A” in increased levels in people with clinical depression. This enzyme is responsible for breaking down neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine), resulting in lower levels of each. (5)
Sadness and depression are often interlinked with grief and can be a form of the grieving process but what sets grief apart from these two distinct conditions?
Grief
Grief, like depression, can interfere with our ability to function normally, and has been described as “going through the motions”, “forgetful and confused”, “indecisive”, “functioning at 50 percent”, or “a robotic existence.” Like sadness, grief is a normal and healthy response to a stressor, but the stressor is specific: loss. Any type of loss. That means you can grieve death, a marriage ending, a friendship dissolving, or a terminal medical diagnosis (which most would agree is appropriate) along with grieving the loss of food (when dieting), maladaptive coping tools (when fighting addiction, such as abstaining from drugs, sex, gambling, etc), and a future you thought you would have (such as with infertility or wayward children). (1)(6)(7)
Grief comes in waves as a mixture of memories with a predominance of emptiness. Those waves are referred to as pangs: emotional pain that comes, will hurt, then goes away, and reappears later. It is associated with thoughts of whatever was lost and can pop up at any time. These pangs can have many negative emotions, much like sadness, but feelings of self-esteem remain intact, and you are able to experience moments of well-being, hope, optimism, and joy. They also do not prevent functioning during pain-free moments. As there is no set time for full recovery from grief, you may have long periods of believing you have “moved on” only for grief to reappear with noticeable intensity. (6)(7)
Conclusion
In wrapping up the discussion on the nuances between sadness, depression, and grief, it's clear that while these emotional states share overlapping characteristics, they are distinctly different in their causes, impacts, and durations.
Understanding these differences is crucial for appropriate responses and interventions. Recognizing when sadness crosses into the territory of depression is vital for seeking help, just as acknowledging the natural process of grief can aid in navigating through loss. This knowledge can empower individuals to better comprehend their emotional experiences and seek appropriate support, fostering a healthier emotional and psychological well-being. Through this lens, we see the importance of distinguishing between sadness, depression, and grief, not to minimize any experience but to ensure that each is understood and addressed in a way that promotes healing and health.
Resources
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.