The Modern Midlife Crisis

man looking out a window squinting

What is a Midlife Crisis?

A midlife crisis can be described as a period of psychological distress experienced during the middle years of adulthood. A midlife crisis is thought to affect people roughly between the ages of 35 and 65; this is the traditional idea of “middle age”, although it can occur earlier or later as well. Men and women can both experience a midlife crisis, but it may look different for each. A midlife crisis is a stressful time of emotional turmoil when people experience feelings of deep dissatisfaction and unhappiness with their lives. It’s a period of transition in life when some struggle with their identity and self-confidence. A midlife crisis is related to the idea of the existential crisis when someone experiences inner conflict and a sense that life lacks meaning and purpose.

Is a Midlife Crisis a cultural or clinical phenomenon?

A midlife crisis is often dismissed as a cultural phenomenon. It’s seen as just a Hollywood creation of stereotypes, which are often mocked and ridiculed. A midlife crisis might be characterized as just a social construct, but the experience is no less real for many people. A “Midlife Crisis” may not be a clinical term of psychology, and it’s certainly not a diagnosis, but it gives a familiar name to the experiences of many people. Despite the prevalent stereotypes of the male midlife crisis, many women suffer from them too.

What are the signs of a Midlife Crisis?

I think we’re all familiar with the cliche of the midlife crisis, which is a middle-aged man with a receding hairline driving a flashy red sports car with a second (and much younger and blonder) wife in tow. However, a midlife crisis is experienced differently by different people. Many feel a sense of desperation and frustration, and a lack of fulfillment. Individuals become acutely aware of their mortality and come to the realization that life, for them, is half over, the best half at that (in their minds). 

Individuals experience a sense that time is running out and that their life hasn’t been lived to its full capacity. A midlife crisis can include but is not limited to, feelings of boredom, regret, loss, loneliness, anger, resentment, pessimism, and changes in libido. A midlife crisis can also involve excessive thinking about the past, feelings of nostalgia, and a desire to recapture one’s youth. These feelings can often lead to a desire for drastic and sudden change (i.e., a new career, a new relationship, or a new hobby; sometimes at the risk of losing something important). 

A midlife crisis can lead a desperate person to act on impulse (i.e., quit their job suddenly, make a large purchase, or embark on an affair). In women, these symptoms may be made worse because of menopause.

Am I going through a midlife crisis or am I depressed? 

Symptoms of a midlife crisis and depression are similar and can sometimes be the same, which is why it is good to talk with a professional if you think you are depressed. It is important to know the difference between depression and a midlife crisis. It can be confusing to know if you are feeling depressed or if you are experiencing a midlife crisis. Both have similar symptoms, and they can be confused with one another. A midlife crisis happens periodically and may last for a short period of time. Depression will last much longer and be more consistent. Either way, both conditions can be emotional and confusing, which is why it is good to seek help and/or advice.

How to cope with a Midlife Crisis

People like to argue that the midlife crisis is an outdated myth. It has also been said that the theory arose at a time when the average lifespan was lower, and people’s health was much worse. It has also been claimed that these days, people often feel more fulfilled in their middle and later years; people see this time in their lives as a chance to finally tackle big projects or dreams they’ve been putting off. People are more educated and self-aware, and they are living much more meaningful lives than they’ve lived before, which is certainly encouraging. 

On the other hand, for those who do experience a midlife crisis, the good news is that it is manageable. With the appropriate guidance, these issues can be overcome. Anxiety and depression are often at the core of the midlife crisis. Traumatic life events, such as divorce or health-related issues, can also create a crisis. Seeing a therapist can help to address any underlying issues. The middle life stage can also become a period of growth and self-development. With the right tools and support, people can learn how to embrace each age with a positive attitude, find fulfillment, and go on to enjoy the privilege that is aging.

Is there treatment for a Midlife Crisis? 

A midlife crisis can be emotional, frustrating, and confusing. However, there are things that can help, such as:  

  • Seek professional help. Seeing a therapist can be very beneficial. Therapy is a great way to talk about your feelings and emotions healthily and safely. 

  • Couples Counseling. If you and/or your partner are experiencing symptoms of a midlife crisis, it can be helpful to try couples counseling. A therapist can help alleviate challenges and give helpful tips on how to help yourself and/or your partner.

  • Try something new. Picking up a new hobby or getting back into an old one can bring joy and excitement. Think through your decisions and take your time, picking an extreme hobby or doing something too new to you could be unhealthy or reckless. 

  • Take your time. If you are going through a midlife crisis and it is not depression, it will get better with time.


Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.

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