Maintaining Recovery Success During the Holidays
The holiday season can bring joy, connection, and meaningful traditions-but for many in recovery from sexual addiction or pornography addiction, it can also be one of the hardest times of the year. Increased stress, emotional triggers, and disrupted routines can quietly chip away at the stability you've worked hard to build. Burnout is real, even in recovery, and when the holidays seem to ask for a whole other level of "give", even the best of us can buckle under the pressure.
Hazard Signs
The holidays tend to magnify the very stressors that fuel compulsive sexual behaviors. This isn't something to jump to accusations or blame about, but instead is something to understand. You need to be prepared for the conditions that lie ahead of you. Recognizing them gives you the power to navigate them intentionally.
Higher stress: everything from travel, financial strain, to family and tension: it all has increased stress. Social obligations can increase exposure to substances and late nights, both of which lower inhibitions, challenge resolve, and make individuals more vulnerable to cravings and relapse. Not to mention the expectation to be joyous and festive. Overstimulation of social obligations can feel overwhelming.
Loss of routine: this can reduce structure and create more unmonitored time than usual. Unstructured downtime, especially while traveling or staying in old environments, may isolate you from your support network or expose you to compromising environments, such as a bedroom with TV, a private bathroom, or late night windows of time with no one around.
Increased emotional triggers: This includes loneliness, regret, guilt, grief, or reminders of past relationship wounds. Emotional overload can look like feeling overwhelmed, rejected, lonely, or "behind." Emotional triggers seek quick fixes, and can lead to thoughts such as "I deserve a break from recovery" or other forms of justifying a waning resolve.
Comparison and perfectionism: this can be intensified by social media, family expectations, and the pressure to partake in "traditions. " This can be difficult to resist as people may start asking questions about ‘why the sudden change, ' and you may not be ready to disclose that you are in recovery. "It's just easier to do what everyone else is doing and start again once the holidays are over."
Internal cues: Increasing secrecy or avoidance, increased irritability, hopelessness, numbing out, fantasizing, or "testing the edges."
Holiday Plan of Action
Planning ahead is a strong protective factor for you during the holiday season, and it doesn't have to be complicated-it just has to be intentional.
Identify high-risk situations (travel, being alone in your childhood home, late nights, boredom, alcohol at gatherings).
Have a strategy for each trigger, such as a script to leave a situation, a grounding technique, or a backup activity.
Schedule extra time with your therapist, accountability partner, group members or trusted loved one to solidify your plan. If your group has virtual meetings, plan when you'll join them.
Make sure digital safeguards are working, including filters, blockers, and device restrictions.
Create structure, especially around sleep, meals, movement, and recovery practices.
Pre-plan healthy alternatives: walks, connecting with a supportive friend, journaling, hobbies, or service activities.
Healthy boundaries may be needed to limit time with people or gatherings that compromise stability. This isn't self-fish, it's self-respect and relapse prevention.
Think of your plan as the guard rails on the side of the road that protect you from driving off a cliff. It's not restrictive; it's intentional protection. It's there to support the version of you who wants recovery, even when the holidays get hard.
Hope Amid Hazards
Recovery during the holidays is challenging-but entirely possible. People in recovery successfully navigate this season every year, not because they are perfect, but because they stay connected, grounded, and intentional. When you find yourself struggling, overwhelmed, or slipping into old patterns, it's not a personal failure. It's a sign that more support is needed. Please believe more support is available.
You are not alone in this work. With planning, boundaries, connection, and compassionate self-care, you can move through the holidays with strength, hope, and dignity-one day at a time.
Here is a helpful holiday worksheet that can help you create a plan of action for the holidays. Think of it as a guide, and create a plan that is tailored to you and your situation. Good luck!
https://www.utahtraumacare.com/sexual-addiction-holiday-stress
https://gentlepathmeadows.com/how-to-deal-with-sexual-triggers-during-the-holidays/
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.
