How Does Gratitude Increase Overall Well-Being
Thanks for being here today. I appreciate you taking the time to read this little blog post. Did you know that gratitude fosters connection? It boosts positivity and trains our brains to notice and appreciate the little things in life.
Gratitude is a value we can have and practice bringing into our lives. Getting out of our heads and into the present moment brings us a lot of opportunities for personal growth, such as :
1. More Frequent Positive Emotions
The uplifting effects on our mood and behaviors are like ripples that come from tossing a stone in a pond. Acknowledgment of the good we have in our lives reaches us and the environment around us.
2. Strengthening Relationships
None of us have gotten to where we are all on our own. Acknowledging the roles and actions of the humans around us aids in building trust, predictability, and consideration. This can build connectedness that perpetuates sustained relationships.
3. Better Stress Management
Gratitude can be a powerful stress reducer. For example, the Dialectical Behavior Therapy strategy called “opposite action” involves identifying your emotional urge and deliberately acting in a way that is opposite to this urge. Overwhelming stressful thoughts do not serve us very well, so finding things we are grateful for to focus on can reduce stressful experiences or alter the mindset that intensifies stress.
4. Improves Sleep
A 2009 study in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research found that practicing gratitude improves sleep quality by promoting positive thinking before bedtime, reducing negative thoughts. This positive mindset leads to better sleep and enhanced daytime functioning.
5. Enhances Resilience
Gratitude plays a significant role in enhancing self-worth and acknowledging personal achievements, which in turn can lead to increased self-esteem and confidence. This positive emotional state helps to alleviate feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. (1, 2, 3, 4)
What Gets In The Way Of Practicing Gratitude
Shared commonly between depression and anxiety is the experience of negative thinking, negative bias, excessive negative focus of self, dismissal of the positive, and catastrophizing the worst. This is rumination. It's a roadblock to practicing gratitude, where one lives persistently in the “past” or worrying about the “future”. This mental time travel detracts from the present moment and can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and depression. This diminishes joy.
Another possible frustration connected to gratitude could be the culture one is immersed in. We live in a country that touts that the pursuit of happiness is fundamentally a right of existence. One would assert that choosing your own path, belief system, how you spend your money, who you spend your time with, and what you consume are common practices in our current society. One not-so-secret side effect of the “pursuit of happiness” is the materialism, entitlement, or disposability of people/jobs/beliefs that is prevalent in our society, and undermines appreciation.
It can be difficult to find appreciation in one's life due to various reasons, such as expectations from school or parents that are unattainable or require a high level of sacrifice, increased isolation from human support, never being told “no”, dismissal of boundaries, substance use, process addictions, excessive focus on material wealth or physical attractiveness, training to “show no weakness”, lack of intimacy in friendships, or being excessively busy with activities with free time or play at a minimum. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
What Gratitude Is Not
Gratitude is a powerful tool for navigating life's challenges, but it should be used wisely. It shouldn't induce guilt or diminish your painful experiences. I have worked with women who believe that they “ought to be grateful” for all they have, and have no right to have the suffering they are experiencing. Often this leads them to assume there is something wrong with them. One can feel grateful while also acknowledging sadness or anxiety. This is a "both/and" mindset.
This duality helps prevent negative thought patterns from taking over. For example, you can miss loved ones while appreciating a warm, sunny day. You can acknowledge feelings of anxiousness about changes while valuing the human support you have. Ultimately, gratitude should help you cope with difficult emotions, enhancing your resilience rather than replacing your feelings or engulfing you with guilt. (1, 3, 4, 5)
What Cultivating Gratitude Can Look Like
Meditate/Ponder on Gratitude
Spend a few minutes in meditation, prayer, or wonder that focuses on the things you're grateful for or the things that are going well for you. It's a calming and centering practice that acts as a grounding exercise of living in a more present way.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
Each day, write down a few things you're thankful for. You can put it in your phone or record yourself talking. This is just one step beyond that meditation since you are habitualizing a physical action with the thoughts acknowledged. This helps you focus on the positive aspects of your life and gives you a place to sense your own growth. You can look back on what you were grateful for when the pressures of life make it difficult to remember.
Pay Attention, Little Things Are There
Notice the small joys in your daily life. A memorable meal or a beautiful sunset are easy enough to have an appreciation for. How about the smaller things: A smile; toothpaste; toilet paper (imagine life without it for a second); car air fresheners; strangers who hold doors open; raindrops on roses; whiskers on kittens etc.
Express Your Gratitude
Don't hesitate to tell the people in your life that you appreciate them. A heartfelt thank-you can go a long way. Even a late thank-you is better than no thank-you. And try to push away the idea that being reminded to say thank you somehow removes authenticity. Especially when trying to start these new practices, you may need to be reminded or taught the ways you can express your gratitude. So don’t paint yourself into a corner believing expressed gratitude has to look a certain way.
Recognizing Our Limitations
Humility is essential for recognizing human limitations. Humility challenges isolation and encourages seeking support, fostering a balance between giving and receiving. It helps shift our mindset from self-centeredness to a focus on things or people outside of ourselves. There is something liberating about not believing that life owes us anything and acknowledging unearned goodness and blessings. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.