Why Are We Often Our Own Worst Critic?
An influential Stoic philosopher in Rome once said, “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” Digesting the above-mentioned statement, it would seem humans find themselves focusing on images rooted in fantasy. All humans share this characteristic and the prospect of staying in this lane can open the door for self-sabotage. Because of this likelihood, it’s time to discover how to navigate the inner critic.
There is a big challenge in navigating the inner critic. We all know it exists and its disruptive effect on our life’s flow. How are we to understand the inner critic? How can we work through the inner critic? Some caution for my readers; there is no short answer, but we can learn to identify the language and our beliefs for the purpose of practicing new-healthier habits.
What is the Inner-Critic?
The inner critic is the divisive voice that casts self-doubt and moves you away from your authentic self. One key problem with the inner critic is that its destructive nature offers and influences attitudes and thought patterns. As such, people will listen, probe, and imagine a situation and outcome rooted in negative thought processes. If you consider this a norm, you are mistaken, continue reading and we will unpack tools that will strengthen the psyche and offer support to bypass the “pesky” negative voice.
Ask the right open questions
Our life and purpose begin with the right question. A question aimed at producing an equitable outcome can have a profound effect on a person. Questions that begin with the following: How can I do this differently? What is taking place right now? How should I respond to this current situation/change/transition? What is within my control? What resources do I have available to me that can support my thinking or decision-making? The right question will limit, and probably recalibrate our minds to think, and feel differently - a collective abandonment of the negative thoughts/beliefs.
Flexibility
Your emotional health is critical if you’re going to successfully pivot away from negative inner dialogue and misuse of imagination. The decision to set your default setting in flexibility will provide an opportunity to explore pathways to a destination that moves away from self-doubt, self-sabotage talk, and feelings of inadequacy. Let’s keep the dial set on flexibility to tip the scales in our favor in pursuit of limiting and closing the door to the inner critic.
As you reflect on this material, join me in curiosity to ask and understand the challenging beliefs we carry. The process may not be an elegant one, and you will encounter pain, disappointment, and fear. A new pathway can still be created, and this season may offer you an opportunity for something special - a chance to understand the only item you can control, your inner world.
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.