Ten Ways to Strengthen Your Teen’s Self-Esteem
Does your teen struggle to make eye contact with peers or adults? Does he minimize his body posture? Does she “hide” in baggy clothes? Do they struggle to accept compliments and make negative statements about themselves? Does she focus on the negative in herself, others, and her life? Does he excessively brag about his superiority? Do they have minimal social interactions? Does she constantly apologize? Does he have low motivation?
These behaviors may be a sign of low self-esteem.
When kids have low self-esteem, their view of themselves and the world becomes distorted by their negative self-perception. This viewpoint may keep them from developing new interests or relationships. It may lead to avoiding new situations and opportunities. Low self-esteem may also lead to anxiety and depression, isolation, poor body image, and engaging in unhealthy behaviors in an attempt to make themselves feel better.
When teens have a strong self-esteem they are more likely to get involved in new activities, take healthy risks, be independent and problem solve. They are also able to deal with frustrations, failures, and disappointments better. They are able to adapt to change and adjust well to new situations. They make friends easily and can be proud of their achievements.
There are simple things that you can do to help strengthen your teen’s self-esteem.
1. Focus on effort not perfection.
Make room for failure and praise their process. This will allow your child to develop the resilience they need to keep trying.
2. Encourage them to try new things.
Trying new things can help them develop a talent and interest that will allow them to recognize their strengths. Set attainable goals that can strengthen their belief that they can be successful.
3. Teach positive self-talk.
Demonstrate how to turn negative thinking into positive statements such as “I practiced for this, I know I can do it.”
4. Be specific in your compliments.
When you are specific about the good you see in them it becomes harder for them to dismiss what you have said. It is much easier to believe a compliment that includes specifics and examples of the behavior you are complimenting.
5. Remind them of their successes.
Encourage them to notice their successes and use them to boost their confidence that they can be successful again.
6. Listen – really listen – when they talk.
Don’t just give advice. Listen while they problem solve and work through their concerns. Encourage their opinions.
7. Encourage a growth mind-set rather than a fixed mind-set.
This will help them to see themselves as capable of change, growth and success.
8. Help them challenge their negative perceptions of themselves.
Teens often believe “if they think it – then it is true.” Teach them to question those negative thoughts and find evidence that these self beliefs are not true.
9. Spend time with them doing what they enjoy.
Your attention and interest in their life and what they value will help them feel their worth.
10. Teach them to serve others.
Serving others will help your child feel good about the person that they are. Sharing their abilities and talents with others will strengthen their view of themselves.
As a parent, you can not prevent the difficulties that your teen may face, but your loving influence can help strengthen them and give them the tools they need to face those difficulties with greater confidence in themselves.
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.