9 Tips for Getting the Most Out of Therapy
You have made the decision to go to therapy and found a therapist to begin working with. Now what? When it comes to getting the most out of therapy, it is important to have the understanding that it is a journey and often a slow process. It will be a commitment and investment of your time, your finances and your mental and emotional energy. Therapy is unique and different for everyone and what works for one person may not work for someone else.
Here are a few tips that can help you get the most out of therapy:
1. Understand what you are wanting
After deciding on the therapist and type of therapy you want, you may be wondering what is next and where to begin. Trust your therapist to provide guidance, and don’t be afraid to ask questions and be curious about the process. What to talk about? The answer is everything. Depending on the type of therapy you are in, you may stick to one specific issue, or you may talk about your thoughts, feelings and behaviors experienced in everyday life. A positive therapeutic process should improve your mental health and well-being as well as make you feel better. However, you may feel worse before you feel better.
2. Don’t expect instant results
Therapy is an investment in yourself and your future. Pursuing your own individual healing and growth takes time and is an investment of your time weekly or every other week, your money and your emotional energy. The challenges that brought you to therapy did not happen overnight but have developed over time. Learning new behaviors, changing unhealthy patterns to healthier ones and healing and growth will also not just happen overnight but with time. Therapeutic work is an ongoing process that happens in and outside of the therapy office and doesn’t just happen for an hour a week or every other week at your therapy appointment. The majority of the work happens on your own time in between sessions. Working on yourself and the reasons that brought you to therapy is often a painful experience, and it is not uncommon to feel worse before you feel better. You may need several sessions before you start feeling comfortable opening up and being vulnerable or to begin to see improvement, and you may need weeks, if not months, and many times years of therapy for ongoing progress and growth to be felt and seen. You are worth the investment.
3. The role of the therapist
A therapist is meant to come alongside you to support you in your mental health and personal growth journey. As you enter the therapist office, allow them to keep track of the time of the session. You don't have to. Depending on the therapist and type of therapy, at times the therapist will provide direction, guidance and education to the therapy process and other times will be non-directive allowing the process to happen naturally. The therapist will not provide advice or tell you what you should and should not do. Therapy is less about advice and more about helping you make decisions that serve you.
4. Identify and set goals
Expect to be asked to elaborate on what brought you to the decision to pursue therapy and why now? Having done some self-reflection ahead of time will help you identify specific reasons why you are pursuing therapy and what your goals and outcomes are. Collaborate with your therapist to identify and establish goals early in the process. This will help your therapist guide the direction of sessions and for both of you to keep track of your progress over time. Goals are meant to be re-evaluated and modified over time and should center around what changes you want to make. For example, maybe your goals are to improve a certain area such as self-esteem and confidence, or improve self-care, to decrease symptoms of anxiety or depression or to address unhealthy habits or repair distressing relationships. An example of a goal to decrease having panic attacks would be learning coping techniques to help lessen symptoms and also the most important goal of understanding the root of why you’re having panic attacks in the first place, which could include awareness of them in your body, understanding the triggers and causes of them and then implementing the coping skills to start the process of decreasing them. It’s like taking ibuprofen for pain. It alleviates the pain, but you still need to figure out what’s causing the pain in the first place.
5. Be an active participant
The therapy process is most effective when the client and therapist work together in collaboration. As a client, be willing to be open, honest and vulnerable. If doing so is scary or anxiety provoking for you, tell your therapist. You are in a safe place and everything in the session is valuable information for your healing and growth. It may take time to be able to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences, as well as being open to new insights and ways of doing things. This all is part of the therapeutic process.
6. Show Up
Being present literally and figuratively is important. A therapy session is typically 50 minutes in length and being late can easily eat up the time. If you feel tired or overwhelmed or lack motivation, it may be tempting to skip therapy sessions or ghost your therapist all together. Please communicate what you are feeling with your therapist. You and your therapist may decide to make some changes to your schedule, to the focus of the session or try a different approach to explore your expectations, therapy goals, and what may be holding you back or getting in the way of your growth. As professional as the therapist is, they are not a mind-reader. It is up to you to communicate your thoughts and feelings. Your job is to be a willing and active participant in your own growth.
7. Do your Homework
To be most effective, do your therapeutic work outside of the therapy session in your day to day life. These are ways to see and experience growth and progress. If your therapist asks you to read, keep a journal or do other activities outside of your regular therapy sessions and follow through. Doing these homework assignments will help you apply what you’ve learned in the therapy sessions.
8. Keep a therapy reflection journal
Before, during and after your therapy session, you might have “aha” moments. The time in between sessions is when life is happening. Take note of triggers, negative or positive thoughts and activities that stand out to you that you want to reflect on more in your next session or reflect on homework given or your notes from the last session. This is part of you being an active participant in your own growth and in reaching your therapeutic goals. During your sessions you will have those notes to bring up to your therapist. At the end of your session or immediately after your therapy session, it can be helpful to make a note of your ‘take-aways’ from the session. What happened in the session that you resonated with, want to remember and want to reflect on more in between sessions? Did you have new insight into yourself or an “aha” moment of clarity? Before those things are forgotten, write them down since that will make you more likely to make progress on your goals and apply what you learned in therapy to your life and see the overall growth over time.
9. Enjoy the process
Therapy is a continuous process. The initial goals you and your therapists set may have been met and you may have moved on to different goals and supports needed. Therapy doesn’t have to be a one-and-done thing. You can pause it, stop all together, change therapists if needed and come back to therapy at any point in your life as you see the need. Consider investing in your self-care, self-improvement and personal growth on an on-going basis. Just as you would pay a gym membership for ongoing maintenance of your physical body, why not do the same in therapy for your ongoing mental and emotional well-being?
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.