Differences in the Therapy Room
Image courtesy of https://blog.ongig.com/diversity-and-inclusion/quotes-about-diversity/
Going to therapy might bring a mixture of emotions. Anxiety, uncertainty, hope, relief, sadness, etc. All that you feel about starting or restarting therapy is absolutely valid. After all, you're speaking to a stranger about things you might have kept a secret for years, or struggles too heavy to carry. Therefore, with no doubt, you have the right to feel comfortable speaking with this stranger. Who is this person? What are their values or beliefs? Do I feel safe speaking to them? Let's explore the elephant that's in the room.
Hi! My name is Ream Moharam, an associate marriage and family therapist, who might look different than your average therapist. Let me ask you a question: when you think of a therapist, what is the image that comes to mind? A male, female, or non-binary? A white person or a person of color? A tall or short one? We all have implicit (hidden) biases that can impact our understanding and attitudes towards therapy; that’s just how we, as humans, are. However, sometimes these unconscious biases affect our actions or decisions. I encourage you to search up “implicit bias study”; you'll end up with several results of the studies done on our unknown biases. So, with that being said, when you look for a therapist, do you have biases that come in the way?
Let’s not confuse this with preferences. We all have preferences when it comes to anything. I personally feel more comfortable having a female therapist rather than a male. I also feel more comfortable having a therapist who has a similar cultural background, as it just makes relating to topics much easier. You have the right to choose a therapist you feel comfortable spending months working with. However, be mindful of the implicit biases that may come in the way.
What happens if you can't find a therapist with whom you feel comfortable working? This could be a bit tricky. If you are avoiding a specific trait (for example, working with an older white male therapist) due to trauma, I would encourage continuing the search for a therapist who does not trigger your nervous system. However, at times, I do recommend slightly challenging preferences that are not trauma-related. If I personally cannot find a therapist with a similar cultural background, I would push myself to try working with someone I wouldn't normally choose. Positive change sometimes comes when you least expect it. I understand that the nature of a therapeutic relationship is very unique.
My goal as a therapist -or at least one of my goals- is to help you look forward to this journey of healing. Feeling heard, seen, and respected is a must. Clients are protected legally and ethically. Whether you work with a therapist who has been in the field for over 40 years or a recent graduate, there are fundamental principles of ethics that therapists must follow.
1. Autonomy: A person has the right to control the direction of their life
2. Nonmaleficence: Avoid causing any harm
3. Beneficence: Working for the cause of good for individuals and society
4. Justice: Treating the client with fairness, equality, and equity.
5. Fidelity: Respecting and honoring commitments and promises
6. Veracity: Being truthful and honest
I hope that a few of the takeaways from this blog include knowing your rights as a client, that you are protected legally and ethically, being aware of implicit biases, and maybe challenging some assumptions that come up. There is a beauty in connecting with someone different than you. We teach one another about the different worlds we live in and create a bond unlike similar ones of the past. Remember to take it one step at a time. Wishing you the best on your healing journey.
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.
