Routine Whiplash: Back to School Is More Than Just School Supplies

Have you ever had the unfortunate experience of being in a car accident or a contact sport injury that gave you whiplash? The effects don't always show up right away. Whiplash happens when the head is suddenly forced back and forth, straining the muscles and ligaments of the neck. (3)

Routine whiplash is a little different, but the idea is similar. After weeks of later mornings, flexible schedules, relaxed meals, screen time, and spontaneous plans, suddenly expecting kids to wake up early, get dressed, eat breakfast, focus at school, complete homework, and go to bed on time can be a shock to the whole family system. And it may not show up on day one.

Not an Unwillingness Issue

Kids aren't trying to make things hard on themselves or their parents. Schedules need time to adjust, no matter the age of the child.

Sleep is one of the biggest pieces. Children generally need 8-12 hours of sleep, depending on their age, and shifting from a summer sleep schedule to an early school schedule overnight can compound over a few days or a week, leaving everyone tired and irritable.

Sleep experts suggest, if possible, beginning to move bedtime and wake-up time earlier by about 10-15 minutes every few nights rather than trying to change everything the night before school starts. (1)(2)

Like Every Good Relationship, Predictability Is Key

Routine isn't just about sleep. Children benefit from having predictable times for meals, exercise and play, homework, screen use, and winding down for bed. A simple evening routine-washing up, putting clothes out, packing a backpack, etc-can help signal that the day is coming to an end.

Morning routines matter too. Practicing getting dressed, making the bed, eating breakfast, and getting out the door before school begins can help make the transition from a summer schedule to a school schedule more predictable. (1)(2)

Adjustment Takes More Time Than You Think

Even when everyone seems to adjust well at first, the effects of the schedule change may not show up right away. A week of waking earlier and spending hours sitting and focusing at school can build up, and irritability or distress may begin to show during the second week.

In an article written by PBS, they quoted a veteran kindergarten teacher who reminds parents:

"It takes most children about six weeks to adjust to a new school year. Don't be surprised if they are tired or emotional after school for the first few weeks. They may need a little extra patience and love." (2)

The Emotional Aspect Is Valuable to Consider

Children often process experiences by talking about them. They gain insight into what happened by discussing it, sometimes more than once. New experiences-a new teacher, new classmates, a new school, new math (ugh), or anything else-will naturally be talked about repeatedly.

Children use "rehearsal" and self-talk as an extension of executive functioning. This verbalization serves as a cognitive tool that helps them hold, manipulate, and organize information in their short-term working memory. It may be a little inconvenient for parents to hear the same thing again and again, but you are holding space for an important part of your child's brain development. (4)

Children first learn to regulate their behavior through conversations with parents and other adults, much like what happens during "rehearsal." Over time, these conversations become the child's own inner self-talk, helping them make decisions, manage emotions, and control their behavior independently. Research following children over time shows that supportive parenting and strong self-regulation skills in early childhood are linked to better executive functioning during adolescence. So, if you start to feel inconvenienced when hearing the same story multiple times, remind yourself that this may be the beginning of them learning to talk things through with you as teens. (5)

Back-to-school is about more than school supplies and shifting sleep schedules. Parents and children are building endurance in their relationships, drop by drop. Try to practice compassion with each other and remember: this is everyone's first attempt at life.

Have a safe and productive year!

Resources

1. https://www.wlwt.com/article/cincinnati-back-to-school-experts-tips-routine-bed-time/73388649

2. https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/you-are-brave-and-kind-helping-your-child-get-ready-for-the-first-day-of-school

3. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/11982-whiplash

4. AuBuchon AM, Wagner RL, Sackinsky M. Children's rehearsal development parallels that of self-talk in other executive functions. Dev Psychol. 2024 Jul;60(7):1237-1243. doi: 10.1037/dev0001697. Epub 2024 Feb 15. PMID: 38358660; PMCID: PMC11959703.https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11959703/

5. Berthelsen D, Hayes N, White SLJ, Williams KE. Executive Function in Adolescence: Associations with Child and Family Risk Factors and Self-Regulation in Early Childhood. Front Psychol. 2017 Jun 2;8:903. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00903. PMID: 28626440; PMCID: PMC5454452. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5454452/

---

Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.