How To Be More Open During Disagreements
Let’s face it—we won’t always see eye-to-eye with other people. Sure, we often think of that annoying uncle who insists on talking politics at every family event, but it can even happen with the people we’re closest to. When we don’t see everything in the exact same light, does that mean one of us is wrong while the other is right? Or does it mean that we’re complex individuals, full of experiences, history and life that are insular and particular to us? I prefer to think that we can respectfully and fully agree to disagree.
Not only are we different, have had different upbringings and so forth, but just the very nature of how we can perceive the same experience differently than someone else is what makes us so unique, and more importantly, so special. If we all saw things in the exact same light, the world would be pretty black and white, don’t you think? There would be no spectrum, no rainbow. It would be this way or another, with little room for debate or interpretation. I prefer to live in the world we’re in now—despite all of the things I don’t necessarily agree with.
Learning to be more open to other opinions, beliefs, or ways of thinking not only allows us to grow and learn new things, but it also offers us the opportunity to connect more deeply with others around us.
Let’s break down 5 tips for being more open during disagreements:
You’re allowed your opinion and they’re allowed theirs
Enter every conversation with a 50/50 “meeting of the minds” approach. If you are approaching every conversation with the intent of changing someone else’s mind, you will fail every time.
2. Some things are out of your control
You can only control yourself, how you feel and how you react and behave—no one else. Don’t try to control them or the narrative.
3. We all have different experiences that shape who we are
We don’t always know the full story of someone and can easily make assumptions without really seeing the big picture.
4. Change doesn’t happen through anger
You’re not going to argue someone into seeing things your way. Rather, supply information, embrace tolerance and give that person time to absorb what you’ve educated them rather than expecting them to instantly do a 180.
5. Things take time and we’re constantly growing
What’s true today may not be the case tomorrow. Be open-minded and allow change to happen and be flexible in your thinking. When you’re challenged, listen to the other side and take in what they have to say.
Debates, discussions, arguments, conversations—these are all chances to connect with someone and understand them and their story better. Never stop listening.
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