3 Steps to Identify Distressing Thoughts & Triggers
As we go about our day, we may not notice some thoughts creeping their way in. At first, our focus may be on what we have on our morning schedule and then it quickly turns into something you regret saying the day before. Your stomach turns and if you weren’t standing in the check-out line, you would make that face you always do that your mom begged you not to because it might “freeze that way.” You’re wincing, you’re upset and you’re fully in that moment all over again as if it’s happening right now. How can this be?! You’re in line at the grocery store, not in the office!
When you find yourself in this elevated state, take pause and make a note of what you’re feeling physiologically. Is your heart racing a bit, perhaps your palms are a bit sweaty? Noticing these changes and how our body responds to stress can help identify and avoid getting knocked down by our triggers and distressing thoughts. We all have them so let’s look them square in the face and let them know that they won’t derail us if we can learn how to harness them.
A trigger can be anything from a word to an observation that reminds the person of a traumatic event in their past. You probably know what a few of yours are already but you may have a few that will surprise you. “Triggers vary widely and could be internal or external. Specific phrases, odors, or sounds can all be triggers for people who have experienced traumatic events such as: rape, military conflict, physical assault, emotional abuse, loss of a loved one.” . The more aware you are of your body’s response to upsetting stimuli, the more you will see you’re being constantly exposed to different triggers. Triggers also aren’t simply provided by the external world but also come internally. According to an article from The Very Well Mind, “An internal trigger comes from within the person. It can be a memory, a physical sensation, or an emotion.”
Triggers and distressing thoughts can really ruin your mood, let alone your day. While you cannot control what happens around you all the time,you can, to a certain extent, control your reaction to things around you.
For instance, say you just lost your beloved cat of twelve years suddenly—you cannot simply avoid seeing cats and even if you could, would you want to? When you’re introduced to the upsetting stimuli again you may notice that your heart starts racing or your chest becomes tight—practice breath work to help you relax as your body reacts and becomes stressed. Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold, breathe out through your nose for 4 seconds, hold and repeat this process 3 times until you feel a bit more calm. This will signal to your brain that everything is okay and you’re not, in fact, under attack and in the future, when you see a cat, repeat this exercise again and your initial reaction may not be the heightened physical response of your chest tightening.
Breathing techniques and mindfulness exercises are all tools one needs to practice and not immediately “fixes”. Oftentimes, we don’t allow ourselves the time to really “do the work” it takes to heal fully from the events in our lives and can avoid things that may be distressing. Some events may be too traumatic to be revisited but some can be approached with patience and compassion. Through identifying and addressing upsetting thoughts, we can begin the work it takes to have them be just thoughts and not mechanisms that control our lives.
Roubicek & Thacker Counseling is Fresno’s premier provider of individual, couples, family, and group therapy. We offer in-person and online remote therapy sessions. Contact us today to change the way you feel.